欠点

What is it that I'm good at? 

What is it that I can be at? 

What is my good traits?

What is my weakness? 

Can I survive through this beautiful and cruel world?

What should I do if I cannot achieve what I want?

Do I have the strength to go through the obstacles? 

Why am I keep on comparing myself to others? 

What can I do to overcome the failure I felt inside of me? 

Will there be anyone to justify the reason of my existence? 

Why can't I be as good as my siblings?

Why am I the only one that keeps everything inside?

Is dad have more favours toward my brother?

Seriously how can I do all of this?

What is my strength? 

What is my strength? 

Tell me please.. anybody. 

Who else that knows me?

I'm not kind. I'm selfish deep inside.

I'm not gentle. I'm fierce.

I'm not sweet. I'm rotten to the core.

I'm not bright. I'm a 'smartass.'

I'm not open minded. I'm the narrowest mind person in most cases.

I'm not talkative. I'm the quietest person.

I'm not strong. I'm weak.

I'm sorry for having these thoughts.. I'm sorry. 

Every day I face so many self conscious thoughts. Each time I can feel myself close to a depression, I will always imagine. From the moment of my childhood innocence till this day. The muses.. the characters I have made up till now is mostly a result of my depressions- other times was an inspiration. But nevertheless, these characters that exists in my mind were the only sole comfort that I have to go through my trouble moments in childhood days. I have always thought one of my character caressing my head with a smile and sometimes they advice me good things that I should be strong. I don't know wether that 'advices' they gave to me was from my own little mind or somewhere- but I felt it was so real.. so real until I thought they really do exist.

But deep inside I know they don't. 

Even so, they still exist in my mind- part of my life and heart. 

It sounds so lonely.