OMG..! Here it comes!

OK. LOL WUT..?

I realized that I don't even have the time to even check in the internet as usual and at the same time for being a slacker and lazy bum in my house and neglected my school works AND other ... yadda yadda..

I even rarely on at facebook and one of my friends were like; "Dude! Y u no online as usual?!"
And I was like..

DAFUQ SHOULD I KNOW...??? D:< 

HAHA. Epic time there, but seriously.. Idk what in the world has gotten into me that make me lost interest on facebook.. (OHMYGOD!)

Even deviantArt. Its very pity, because I drew lots of pictures but I'm just being lazy to do all the scanning an coloring work xDD Shoot me for being a lazy bum please. Because this has GOT TO STOP. I AM SERIOUS PEOPLE! I need some total support and tips on how to manage my time properly- till the smallest degree into a huge one.

Ok so that was first.. Second.. Is.. My communication between classmates, friends and teachers. That made me realized how much of a quiet and loner i am in the class and I have to admit, it was painful times for like.. 9 years? Oh yeah, how much I realized that!

Also..  There are.. At certain circumstance- and mostly of the previous reason -that I took the subjects/educations TOO lightly. Its not good. How much I've known that?! I need to know myself.. I need to remind myself.. I need to change..

WHAT ELSE DO I NEED TO CHANGE MYSELF..? What can I do to change and to have more confidence to make myself at the front like everyone else in the school freely and happily? With many gadgets around me- that my father always bought for me for the sake of showing his love -it makes a bigger trials FOR me. Then from that thought- I realized... This is just a start of my journey to the adulthood or maturity right..?
My father always tells me.. Adulthood isn't an easy task, in fact its a bigger responsibility of taking care and fulfill what God has given to us from the beginning. While maturity- well... it has the same meaning but more deeper I guess..? I always thought of myself as a mature one- but boy.. I am so wrong. There are lots of things I haven't learn- much more.. and will be a part of my journey to become a mature girl.

Ok.. First thing first. I MUST control myself from misusing all the gadgets. Blackberry, iPod, laptop, psp, nintendo-- EVERYTHING!!!!

Second.. I have to FOCUS. I must let myself gripped more into whats now and snapped out from my fantasy-writing-and-rp lala land. TISYIA! GET A HOLD MYSELF!

Third. this matter... it should be placed in WAY TO THE TOP I must pray to Allah always- seek helps from the One and only and.. Redeem. Oh Allah, I almost at the urge in tears now, just thinking about this makes me remember about the future plan- January 2013, that me and my family will go to that Holy Place, Makkah and The City of Light, Madinah. Idk... All the years and spending my life as a not worthy of myself-- then suddenly.. just suddenly... Oh God.. its just a sudden.. I still couldn't believe until now. Even so months passed by that I've done my Umrah.. and yet... And yet...

The cold yet calm breeze of the Holy Place still lingers on my skin.. Even the image Makkah itself sometimes flashes before my eyes..

URGH..
NEVER MIND ABOUT THAT..

anyway...! I just... simply need to change myself..!

BATRISYIA! STOP BEING A LAZY BUM!