「純愛」

A/n: Short story about my character based on the sweetest soundtrack- yet can be saddest one yet; Junsui Koigokoro. Plus its been a long time I write about anything after all. Enjoy. :) Oh the meaning for the tittle above is Pure Love. LEWL~ xD ( PS: I cried when I listen to this soundtrack a lot of time Q_Q )

TITTLE: Pure Love 

GENRE: Sweet innocent love. Romance. I think so.

'It feels cold..' 

The blonde woman thought as her half lidded honey orbs staring at the sun's light shone beautifully from underneath the water where she has sunk down slowly. But when you look in other perspective, she seemed to be floating beautifully- her face calm and speck of bubbles came through from her mouth. Freya has done this a lot of time before, she has gotten used with holding breathes and the longest she could remember was five minutes till she out of breathe. Her blonde long hair flows along with the rhythm of the blue water and some of her bangs even caress her cheeks as if they cherish the owner's beauty for a long time. 

'I've been doing this a lot of time before too..' 

She thought again as her half lidded eyes slowly wants to shut them. Her vision begin to blur, her lips slowly apart by themselves letting her only oxygen of bubbles escape and she somehow feels like her body becoming so numb- as if it wants to fuse along with the water and flow around freely into an endless void below. Freya let her body sunk down slowly, gracefully, head first to the bottom- the beauty shall sunk down and might never return. Her head becoming empty. There's no image of her lover or her daughter. Or even any particular flashbacks. Just a sweet, simple dark oblivion that she feel like she will be consume in. 

'..Am I turning into a cruel woman if I leave everything behind?' 

Those were her last thought before she can feel darkness slowly catching on her conscious. Her body kept on falling deeper and deeper to the darkness of the sea until she can see her own hand was directed above to the water's light above her. Freya can feel something coming out of her eyes- was that tears? She couldn't tell since she is after all, fallen into the darkest sea. Slowly she can feel the liquid seeping through her inside- killing her slowly in each second and she was thinking its ironic that her own element of power that she can actually control over is now killing her. Really now. 

"Freya.." 

'Who..?' 

She thought she could have sworn someone called her. She tried to open her eyes widen more but darkness has took over her sight. She saw someone-- A shadow of a man just now before she closed her eyes. Who was that? 

"Don't die before me, my girl," 

'...Sebastian..?'

The last thing Freya can recall was the air of life connected through her blue lips and seeps through her chest and body- slowly she can feel her heart beat once more. 

"You are too beautiful to die before me, my flower,"

A warm feels through her hand and neck can be felt once more before that statement she just heard in her head. 

"Don't you think our love is pure?" 

'..Why me of all people?' 

"I simply express my love.."

Freya Carver felt alive once more.

欠点

What is it that I'm good at? 

What is it that I can be at? 

What is my good traits?

What is my weakness? 

Can I survive through this beautiful and cruel world?

What should I do if I cannot achieve what I want?

Do I have the strength to go through the obstacles? 

Why am I keep on comparing myself to others? 

What can I do to overcome the failure I felt inside of me? 

Will there be anyone to justify the reason of my existence? 

Why can't I be as good as my siblings?

Why am I the only one that keeps everything inside?

Is dad have more favours toward my brother?

Seriously how can I do all of this?

What is my strength? 

What is my strength? 

Tell me please.. anybody. 

Who else that knows me?

I'm not kind. I'm selfish deep inside.

I'm not gentle. I'm fierce.

I'm not sweet. I'm rotten to the core.

I'm not bright. I'm a 'smartass.'

I'm not open minded. I'm the narrowest mind person in most cases.

I'm not talkative. I'm the quietest person.

I'm not strong. I'm weak.

I'm sorry for having these thoughts.. I'm sorry. 

Every day I face so many self conscious thoughts. Each time I can feel myself close to a depression, I will always imagine. From the moment of my childhood innocence till this day. The muses.. the characters I have made up till now is mostly a result of my depressions- other times was an inspiration. But nevertheless, these characters that exists in my mind were the only sole comfort that I have to go through my trouble moments in childhood days. I have always thought one of my character caressing my head with a smile and sometimes they advice me good things that I should be strong. I don't know wether that 'advices' they gave to me was from my own little mind or somewhere- but I felt it was so real.. so real until I thought they really do exist.

But deep inside I know they don't. 

Even so, they still exist in my mind- part of my life and heart. 

It sounds so lonely. 

What really happen to me after that last post

 Right after my last post, I completely forgot about my blog. I'M SORRY (MAYBE) But that's not really the main issue/reason that made me neglected my blog to be honest.. I actually have an important examinations coming up that time so, it drove me some several panic attack here and there and helplessly devoted into books and exercises so yeah, you can see now where this is going right? *chuckle* I don't really mean to neglect my blog, I just apparently got caught in the midst of some real life important events that I cannot elbow it aside. So yup! That pretty much summarize everything.. So yeah! How was my examination? It was ok I guess.. A so-so.. But I do hope I get a decent results enough to go through a university that I want to go. They have this course that caught my interest so much.. I tried to find this particular course in few uni and colleges around my area but sadly they don't have it. Kinda disappointed.

 

ARRRRGHHH.. FORGET IT. I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT. AND I'M NOT EVEN GOOD WITH RESEARCHING TOO

Anyway today is 20 December and I am excited for tomorrow. Why? Because Comic Fiesta will be held again for this time of the year at KLCC Convention centre! The last time I went there, which it was last year- the event itself was a blast! It was so awesome until the KLCC Staff even complains about the raging event that rapidly grows nonstop even so the even was a two days event! XD Haha, I felt pity for the CF staffs, they been working really hard for the fiesta to be a success- but it is! I mean.. Look at the Comic fiesta's map. This time they expanding the area and it will be a larger place to look around! Something tells me my leg will go jelly for this year CF haha. xD But whats more exciting is that Danny Choo once again will be there in this 2o13 CF! Mirai-chan will be there too and this time the goodies is in fact increases and waited for us to purchase it! HEEEEEEEEEEH... I can't wait~ I even get to meet my internet friends over there and this will definitely be a kick ass day for me and my friends~ 

  WEEELP~ This is the bottom post now for me! I will post more afterwards.. See ya guys later~ 

//Trisyia

The Writer is baack

Hello there. 

I haven't posting much of any thing at all in my blog so my reason for the long time absent was because of my school, families functions and the ups and downs happening in my life XD 

But as I trudging through my daily life- I happened to have few stories written in my mobile when I got few spare of times and thought that maybe I could just post it here. LOL

And seeing my hime-chan-- a friend, posted her stories made me wanted to post something too soooo... yeah. That was a very self explanatory reason alright to me. >_>

anyhow.. I only wanted to post a Summary to my one shot story that I'm currently doing. Its called, Thorn Rose. A straight pairing romance. But sort of dark and twisted

Summary:

He's the only person that can see through the mask of me and the only one that can made me feels like I can be of what I am. It felt like owed him a lot when he letting out that can of vibe to me so I'm trying my best to make him happy and secure just as how I felt toward him before and that was the only thing that I can do. Maybe I'm not perfect, maybe he thinks it was unnecessary, but it was better than nothing at all and I know he realized that. We never spoke about this kind of thing nor even made the attempt of bringing this kind of subject. Because somehow one way to another he knew this without me telling so. 

It was something among his wise maroon eyes told me that he knew my attention, what I think, what I will do and the hidden masque that I tried to cover. He just knew. Yet he never spoke a word of why, how or what to me. Instead he just gave out his psychiatrist's smile and professionally as he can smooth out every bits of any kind of situation that I'm only hard to be in with one of the conversation that can distract me. Due to my solitariness for so long that I experienced- my heart and body became mentally tired and worn, and I thought I will drop below to the abyss of the world sooner or later until I met him. Instinctively my heart clung to him like he was my only saviour. He accepted silently and I without a doubt glad for it- but with this turnout of event I didn't realized that this is just, what people called as; the calm before the storm. He was a gentleman, yes.. but also cunning in his own way after I discovered the consequences to be with him.

Who said that in every roses there will be no thorns?

The real thing will be finish. I will post it right away if I manage to do it! >,<

Awaken Slumber

So how long was I out from this blog I wonder? Quiet a long time I supposed and I sincerely apologize.... Mr. Blogger. For completely neglecting you. I don't have any intention of leaving you my precious, so no worry.. For I am back~ :D Mwuahahaha..
So what's up with my life you been asking? Oh I'll say there's a lot of things happen but I'm not quiet sure how to put it since there's a lot of things. A LOT.

Well anyway, to put it simple, I'm currently busy a lot of things. School and with the examinations is just around the corner I've been neglecting most of my social accounts in the internet including my favorite; Tumblrs. I don't know what happen now to both my personal account and roleplaying account but I'm pretty sure many people will unfollow my accounts due to my inactivity but never mind that..!

WEEELLL... I think that's about it.. This is a short post and a brief through of whats happening and all. I'll try to post something along the way of my busy year, thank you for care enough to read this. You will be loved forever more by me. :I

//Trisyia.